R.I.P. CLAUDE!​
Born: September 15, 1995
Died: December 2, 2025
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Claude, the albino alligator at the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco has died at the age of 30.
The following play was written 15 years ago. It was inspired by an article in the SF Chronicle about the celebration. The article featured a recipe for Alligator Cupcakes.
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Alligator Tourists
A play by Peter Sroka
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On September 15, 2010 an icon of the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, Claude the albino alligator turned 15. The museum hosted a party free for those available to join him.​​ For his birthday, Claude received 15 cupcakes made by a museum biologist with the help of two high school students who shared his birthday.
Setting Shortly after Claude's Birthday in 2010
Academy of Sciences, San Francisco
The Swamp, During Business Hours
Characters
Kid 1, Kid 2, Kid 3, Kid 4
Andrew, the Alligator
Ali, the Alligator
Allison, the Alligator
Alex, the Alligator
Claude, the Albino Alligator
Bonnie, the Alligator
Other Alligators
Other Kids
We are at the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco. Visitors are looking down into the swamp exhibit at Claude, the Albino Alligator. Some of the visitors are secretly part of the show. At show time, a congregation of alligators comes through the doors dressed like tourists with suitcases in their claws. They are exhausted from the journey, but also excited because they have arrived at their destination.
Andrew: This is it I think.
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Andrew approaches one of the kids.
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Andrew: Uh, pardon me. Is this the swamp?
Kid 1: Yes. See? It says “The Swamp.”
Alligators: Yay!
Kid 1: Is this your habitat?
Ali: We live in a swamp, but not this one.
Alex: Yeah, our swamp is back in Florida.
Allison: We’re looking for Claude. Does he live here?
Kid 4: No way, you know Claude?
Claude appears from the swamp.
Claude: Is that you, my brothers and sisters?
Alligators: Hi Claude!
Claude: The Academy People said you were coming to visit.
I didn’t even know I had family in Florida.
Allison: We came over 3,000 miles to see our famous bro.
Alex: Check out that skin!
I mean, I’ve seen it in photographs, but it’s so unreal in real life.
Ali: How can I get my skin to turn that color?
Claude: I used to say the same thing to Bonnie.
Alex: Who’s Bonnie?
Bonnie enters from the swamp.
Bonnie: I’m Bonnie.
Alligators: Hi Bonnie.
Bonnie: Hello fellow reptilians! Welcome to our little swamp here.
To answer your question, you can’t turn Albino like Claude here.
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Claude:(singing) Baby, I was born this way!
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Bonnie: That’s right, he is missing a gene.
It happens sometimes with some animals.
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Allison: We don’t have any jeans either, so how come we’re not white?
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Bonnie: Not jeans, j-e-a-n-s like blue jeans.
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Alex: Yeah, if we had those, we’d be blue.
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Andrew: No, we wouldn’t.
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Bonnie: Claude is missing a gene, G-E-N-E, the things that come from
our parents and their parents like a family code born inside us.
Genes make us who we are when we’re starting out through the
gate of life. He has the rest of his genes, just not the green gene.
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Claude: Which means, I’m rare. I’m so rare! I’m super special. I’m a star.
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Bonnie: This is what I live with on a daily basis.
And you wonder why I bit his foot.
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Alex: You bit him?
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Claude: Finally, she admits it! That was horrible.
They took me to the emergency room and had to amputate my toe.
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Bonnie: Anyhow, we’re over it now.
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Claude: First day back in the swamp, she was trying to snuggle up on the rock.
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Bonnie: Please, I was enjoying the warmth.
Did you all know that they heat this rock?
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Alligators call out responses such as “Really? No way. Wow.”
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Bonnie: Yeah, they keep it between 78 and 95 degrees Fahrenheit.
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Ali: Nice. Hey Claude. What’s it like being Albino?
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Claude: Well, if I were born in the wild it wouldn’t be fun.
You guys are green so you can blend in.
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Bonnie: They call it “camouflage.”
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Alligators: “Camouflage.” (Impressed with the word)
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Claude: If I were in the wild, I’d never be able to catch food, otherwise known as
prey, because animals would see me coming. I would starve. Also, my
skin is very sensitive to the sun.
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Bonnie: Oh poor you. You’re such a crybaby! Wawawa.
Humans come from all over the planet to see your sorry self.
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Claude: Fine. Call me names. You’re still my friend.
I just wish you wouldn’t be such a sour puss all the time.
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Bonnie: Oh Claude. Maybe the reason I’m “sour” is because you get all the attention.
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Claude: That’s not my fault. Hey, I shared my cupcakes with you!
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Bonnie: Still going on about those cupcakes.
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Alligators: Cupcakes?
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Claude: Oh, they were so yummy.
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Ali: They have cupcakes here?
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Claude: It was a special occasion.
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Ali: What special occasion?
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Claude: My Birthday.
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Ali: I just have to ask. How does one make an Alligator Cupcake?
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Claude: Well, of course, I didn’t make my own birthday cupcakes.
But kids, how many of you were here at my party?
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Kids come forward, calling out, overlapping conversation.
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Kids: We were there.
That was so much fun.
What a party! That was awesome.
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Claude: Hey, do you guys remember the recipe?
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Kid 2: Of course, anything for our favorite exhibit at the Academy.
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Bonnie: Can you believe these groupies?
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Kid 3: Aw, Bonnie. We love you too.
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Bonnie: Just sing the recipe kids. These gators have come a long way.
They can take a little city culture back to the real swamp.
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Kid 2: Sure thing, Ms. Bonnie. The following recipe was provided by the
biologists here at the Academy.
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All Party Kids: Alligator Cupcakes!
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A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four…
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Alligator cupcakes for special occasions,
Alligator cupcakes for our gator relations,
Alligator cupcakes, fishy and sweet,
Alligator cupcakes, a reptilian treat.
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Grind the gator chow up.
Put it into a pot.
Stir gelatin in water,
When the water’s hot.
Blend Capelin, spinach, parsley, prawns, and flakes of fish
Phytoplankton, carrots, omega acids in a dish,
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Alligator cupcakes for special occasions,
Alligator cupcakes for our gator relations,
Alligator cupcakes, fishy and sweet,
Alligator cupcakes, a reptilian treat.
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Mix it all up,
Into a spackle-like texture,
Add water if you need,
To moisten the mixture,
Spoon the mixture into the cupcake mold.
Put it in the fridge until it’s good and cold.
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Alligator cupcakes for special occasions,
Alligator cupcakes for our gator relations,
Alligator cupcakes, fishy and sweet,
Alligator cupcakes, a reptilian treat.
Take the mold from
The refrigerator.
Place the cakes on a tray
Like a caterer,
Colorize the hummus any hues you choose.
Spread the frosting, careful not to drip on your shoes.
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Alligator cupcakes for special occasions,
Alligator cupcakes for our gator relations,
Alligator cupcakes, fishy and sweet,
Alligator cupcakes, a reptilian treat.
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Garnish the top
For the celebration
With a berry, flower, tiny fish,
or shrimp decoration.
Alligator cupcakes are ready to serve,
Humans come taste if you have the nerve.
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Alligator cupcakes for special occasions,
Alligator cupcakes for our gator relations,
Alligator cupcakes, fishy and sweet,
Alligator cupcakes, a reptilian treat.
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All clap and the kids take a bow.
Andrew: Well, we’d better say our “good-byes.”
Kid 1: Aren’t you going to stay for cupcakes?
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Andrew: They won’t be ready until September 15th.
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Allison: Yeah, we’d better get going. We want to stop by the St. Louis Zoo on
our way back to Florida to visit our Chinese cousins.
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Kid 2: Does every country have it’s own kind of Alligator?
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Alex: No, there are just two species of Alligators, American and Chinese.
The Chinese gators are smaller than us.
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Ali: Aw, do we have to go back to Florida?
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Alex: I like it here in Frisco. That Bay water is so refreshing.
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Allison: You couldn’t survive in that water 24/7. Of course, we have to go home.
There isn’t enough room in this swamp for all of us.
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Ali: Hey Claude, why don’t you come back with us?
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Claude: That sounds nice, but San Francisco is my home now and I really
wouldn’t be safe out there.
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Alex: Can we come back to visit you?
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Claude: We love visitors! Come anytime. According to the average lifespan of
the American Alligator, if I stay healthy, I should be around for the next
fifteen years or so.
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Ali: Hey Claude, before we go, can we take a picture with you?
The folks at home just won’t believe we actually met you.
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Claude: Why not?
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Ali: Fantastic!
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Ali looks around before picking a stranger in the audience to take the picture.
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Ali: Excuse me, would you mind taking our picture?
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Andrew: Hey groupies, Can you get in the picture too? The gators in
(To the humans/actors) Florida are going to be so surprised to see us gators and you humans
hanging out together. They’re not going to believe that we were so
close and didn’t even eat you.
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There is a long hungry pause as the alligators stare at the children like prey.
They close in until the kids break free, screaming and running for the door.
The alligators chase them out.
The End
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FACTS SHEET
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General Scientific
Habitat – Swamp
Alligators are from Florida (about 3,000 miles away)
Genes – Albinos are missing one
Alligators are Reptiles
Camouflage
Two Species of Alligator – Chinese and American
Lifespan
Temperature
24/7
Museum Specific
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Claude was bit by Bonnie and his toe was amputated.
People made Alligator Cupcakes for Claude’s 15th birthday 9/15/10
Heated Rock
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